Diary of a Brisley Day.
We sat down at 7pm to watch The One Show. large dog and tiny dog were in their beds, two meters apart. middle dog was wedged between my wife and I on the sofa, a nice family gathering.
We had previously listened to Richie (Apparently you have to refer to The Chancellor by his first name. I’m not sure if this is because he looks like someone who should be presenting CBBC or to endear him to us). Anyway we thought he did a good job, particularly as he had been tipped to appear on Strictly before the cabinet reshuffle had landed him in it.
We were interested in the post address questioning which ranged from “Would self employed smack dealers he able to get £2500 a month to when were are the pubs and betting shops going to reopen.
The One Show looked strange, it was as if all the presenters had not showered and were concerned about body odour. Ed Balls was so far away that Skype, Zoom or that old fashioned FaceTime would have brought him closer.
Earlier on I had caught middle doggie licking stagnant water from a bowl in the garden, I shouted at him to stop fearing later consequences.
Anyway TV time was consequence time. I noticed his rib-cage rising and falling at an alarming rate The room soon began to fill with a noxious gas. My thoughts drifted and I began to wonder if he was from a military background as I swear blind he was trumping in rhythm to The Last Post.
I caught my dear wife glancing at me and initially I thought she had an alluring look I then realised that she was considering me to be the deliverer.
The windows got opened wide in an effort to clear the atmosphere. After a while and with frost appearing on our eye lashes my dear lady went to dish up tea.
Sitting at the table i was delivered home made stilton, broccoli, courgette and kale soup. Secretly wishing I was facing a kebab, I said the statutory thanks. When she mentioned that the vegetables were well past their best and couldn’t really be served up with a meal I was forced to hold my tongue. I actually wanted to point out that we were still eating them but now disguised as a green gloop with a cheesy smell – it was nice though.
Middle doggie had prised himself off the sofa with the aroma of soup. He looked longingly but his lips were never going to get close I imagined The Last Post being substituted for The Charge of the Light Brigade.
Eight pm saw us celebrating the NHS by nipping onto School Road and clapping, I rang a big bell. In the distance we could see the neighbours and hear their clapping, well done. The air was nippy and thinking that my delicate extremities
were in danger of frost nip we soon went back inside to the Coronas esque, throat grabbing air.
Anyway that’s what we did
Not my work, kindly sent to me this morning.by a kind person from the Village.